Spectator Sport- Dream World Outing
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*Yawns*, morning mom, morning dad, it's 7:30 in the morning and I'm all set to have some wild time. I look at the mirror and realize that I am in a big mess. My hair is not combed, I haven't showered, Im wearing my pajamas and basically messed up! Oh no! It's 7:30 and I'm in my pajama's, I quickly take a shower, tumble down the stairs, grab some breakfast and I'm out of the house. I had to make it on time for the van, I thought to myself. Friends were waiting in school. We made a plan to go to Dream World. I was worried i wouldn't make it on time since the given time was 9. I reached got on the van and was off to Dream World. I suddenly just felt butterflies roaming in my stomach, I was scared by how the games actually looked. I backed out for a minute, then a friend of mine knew i was terrified, so she calmed me down and I gave it a second thought to try out the adventerous games. Entering gave me this weird feeling of excitement and nervousness. People like me hate trying out new things or adventures but since I was with a friend who trusted me and convinced me, she helped me overcome some of my fears. "Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed. I just had seen this humongous ride which had about 15-20 seats and went upside down continuously. My friends were all excited for this ride but me, nah uh this isn't quite my thing. My friend elucidated me to ride on it and she was successful. Sitting on my seat I sighed, "what happened Gur?" she asked. "I'm scared Ishita, I really am scared" I said. "Its okay If i can ride it you can too" she said importunely. "Right" I said mediately. She imbued me. The ride began, it went up slowly, which got me even more scared, Oh my gosh its time to go upside down. It was amazing! I thanked Ishita so much for letting me have a once in a life time experience, it was just how she extricated my fears . I really enjoyed my day out with my friends and felt so stupid to be scared for a simple ride like that.
*Yawns*, morning mom, morning dad, it's 7:30 in the morning and I'm all set to have some wild time. I look at the mirror and realize that I am in a big mess. My hair is not combed, I haven't showered, Im wearing my pajamas and basically messed up! Oh no! It's 7:30 and I'm in my pajama's, I quickly take a shower, tumble down the stairs, grab some breakfast and I'm out of the house. I had to make it on time for the van, I thought to myself. Friends were waiting in school. We made a plan to go to Dream World. I was worried i wouldn't make it on time since the given time was 9. I reached got on the van and was off to Dream World. I suddenly just felt butterflies roaming in my stomach, I was scared by how the games actually looked. I backed out for a minute, then a friend of mine knew i was terrified, so she calmed me down and I gave it a second thought to try out the adventerous games. Entering gave me this weird feeling of excitement and nervousness. People like me hate trying out new things or adventures but since I was with a friend who trusted me and convinced me, she helped me overcome some of my fears. "Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed. I just had seen this humongous ride which had about 15-20 seats and went upside down continuously. My friends were all excited for this ride but me, nah uh this isn't quite my thing. My friend elucidated me to ride on it and she was successful. Sitting on my seat I sighed, "what happened Gur?" she asked. "I'm scared Ishita, I really am scared" I said. "Its okay If i can ride it you can too" she said importunely. "Right" I said mediately. She imbued me. The ride began, it went up slowly, which got me even more scared, Oh my gosh its time to go upside down. It was amazing! I thanked Ishita so much for letting me have a once in a life time experience, it was just how she extricated my fears . I really enjoyed my day out with my friends and felt so stupid to be scared for a simple ride like that. 
my dear gurr... i loved your writing. All those memories dashed back. I liked how you added everything that happened throughout the day, starting from morning until the end. Not much edits on your post, just the word "things" misspelled. And yes, i got abut confused in the conversation part. Other than that, you and I, both know your essay was wonderful!! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you..haha i was confused myself thanks again! :)
DeleteGurpreet... I love the way you wrote. I like the way you explained the whole thing about what you did and how friends helped you overcome your fears. However, there is this line that you said "I just had seen this humongous ride which had this about 15-20 seats and went upside down and whirled and whirled." The sentence didn't really make sense to me but I would prefer writing it as "I had seen this humongous ride with about 15-20 seats continually whirling upside down." And yea I was also confused on the conversation part. Apart from this, you writing was perfect.
ReplyDeleteCatheriya Narang P1
DeleteThank you! For the advice! :)
DeleteWow, Gurpreet, great work! I love how I can also relate myself to the feeling I get when it comes to riding "scary rides" just like what you felt. Also the excitement we get when it comes to going to the amusement park, and rushing to be on time. I enjoyed reading this. The "tings" are misspelled, though, and there are some parts where I got confused. Like "I reached got on the van and was off to Dream World." and all of a sudden it becomes "I suddenly just felt butterflies..." maybe you can arrange it more clearly, and use/eliminate part of the words, like "I got on the van and was off to Dream World." then "I suddenly felt butterflies.." but other than that, your work is great! Keep it up :)
ReplyDelete-Regina Hutagalung, P8
Thank you gina! Thanks for the advice and i will take your advice! thanks again! :)
Delete